Are we Compatible or Combatable

I’ve never questioned the reasons as to why people are exclusively attracted to those who are of the same ethnicity, I’ve always seen everyone as their own individual with unique qualities not attributed to any one type of ethnicity, and I’ve never been closed minded about dating or being in a mixed relationship. However, I was recently scrolling through my spam emails deleting the daily junk from my inbox when I noticed an interesting article posted by users on Quora entitled” why do men struggle mentally in relationships”, two seconds away from hitting the delete I was intrigued and wanted to see what had been said, and to low key compare to see if anything was relatable from my own experience. Then, out of surprise, I found this comment about how racial differences are a problem in multiracial relationships which results in Mental wellbeing problems. This got me thinking back about a famous TV couple here in the UK. I remember reading an article in a magazine a while ago about how this couple eventually ended up splitting up amicably, but at the time it was said how racial factors put huge pressure on their relationship, also the fact they lived pretty much in the countryside in a very “little England” style town. This couple are two of the most recognisable personalities from TV, but sadly despite their successful careers, being in the eyes of the public put a heavy spotlight on their personal lives. Both had nothing but positive and amazing things to say about their relationship and time together, but was it ultimately societal expectations and pressures which made it too difficult for them to be together, and was it doomed for the start? But is this a pretty common theme in Multiracial relationships across the European continent? Do social expectations, friendship circles and cultural issues influence how individuals approach relationships? Here is a scenario, I share a photo with my white partner to her predominantly white family and friends, do you feel they would raise the fact I am black over anything else? This is a scenario I’ve encountered plenty of times in real life, and I know this because my partner’s were open enough to share it with me. But also, I wonder how social influences and environment can inadvertedly shape our perception of who is exactly right for us and who would fit right within our social expectations. There are friends and families who appear positive of multi ethnic relationships, but micro aggressions progressively build over time to create a bigger picture of what they truly think without actually just outright saying it, all the while trying to break you down to a point of self doubt. I feel this is exactly what happened with this TV couple but on a public scale, and not even love itself could stop it from taking over their lives. The original poster on Quora replied to the comment and said it was not really a main issue worth talking about. The conversation was dropped seemingly trying to move it on like it was a taboo subject, but I think it is a very real discussion that is not debated enough. Yes, I truly believe race ethnicity is not a general barrier to our relationship choices, but i’m not going to fool myself and say that it isn’t a factor which determines how many relationships play out long term. I have met people during my professional career who work exclusively with people of all different ethical backgrounds and develop highly respectable and close bonded relationships, but yet I could place a bet on how many of them have never experienced dating or being in mixed relationship simply by understanding their social backgrounds. Truthfully, if you did a survey in your typical European high street of how many people have been in a true relationship outside of their own ethnicity, the results would probably speak. Right now in Europe we are seeing a big rise in anti immigrant nationalist groups and far right politics. I wonder how much this constant negative attention against ethnic minorities affects how people perceive themselves and their social expectations when they are in multiracial relationships? I do not use social media, but I can definitely see how people might not want to be associated with a person who is going to attract that attention to them. The greater the popular opinion, the less people feel validated and included amongst their friends and peers when they are not part of the conversation, so it is a quick way to alienate themselves away from social groups. So to end my point, Yes the comment on racial difference is to me very relevent, love is unconditional, but there are almost always outside societal factors that ask questions and we shouldn’t pretend to ourselves otherwise. We all have preferences and ideas of what we want in a partner, but for some this is rooted in social ideology, and it is important in these times to recognise who is ready to stand up to the challenges as a partner when you need them the most, because ultimately, you might lose them if they were not strong enough to be by your side from the start.